Dealing with Job Rejection

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The inevitable and painful part of job searching is rejection. Although it’s part of the process, each rejection from a job in a new city feels like another tiny step backward from your goals. Every email that begins with "Thank you for your application...." pokes another tiny hole in your faith in your journey and your goals, and there are days it feels like you'll deflate all together.

But rejection can also be a powerful motivator and test of your faith. When I was applying to jobs in Raleigh, I made it deep into the interview process with two different companies. One was a job that was very relevant to my field; the other was a position that was a little bit of a stretch in terms of relevance to my field, but was with a noteworthy company. The first position consisted of a lot of video interviews and projects, where I continued into their top five applicants. The second position consisted of more phone interviews, followed by a request for an in-person interview in Raleigh.

If you've ever interviewed in another city after a company pays for your plane ticket and your lunch, you understand the pressure I put on this job. After boarding a flight at the crack of dawn, I sat through seemingly endless rounds of interviews with important people at the company—all who somehow seemed to be named David. By the end of the day, I was left sweating caffeine and hope. After every person at the company had asked me more about myself than I thought I even knew, I was shuffled on to a returning flight by six that night. It was easily one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life. I figured that between these two final interviews, my ticket to Raleigh must be in one of them.

You know what happened? I didn't get either job. Both had picked local candidates.

Of course at this point I was questioning my entire plan and if anyone would hire me, ever. Should I still move? Would I have any better luck when I was in the city, or would I fail? It wasn't all discouraging; I got a kind note from the lead designer at the first company, who told me that I was a very close second for the position and had the drive, motivation, and talent to succeed. Even though I had narrowly lost out on that job, I took that piece of positivity and ran with it. I had a great opportunity and support to take the risk. At the end of the day, I decided to take a leap of faith and trust that things would work out when I got there.

And of course, they did. One of the last jobs I applied for before I left was a position at a country club—who happened to call me a couple weeks after I arrived in sunny North Carolina.

When I think about the position I flew down for and didn't get, I am thankful. It was a position that wouldn't have allowed me a lot of creativity, and one that I genuinely would not have thrived in. I knew that while I was interviewing, but there comes a point where you think any job is better than none. Advice: while your dream job often isn't your first, don't try to make a job into something you think you would like. If you read the job description and nothing about it makes you feel excited, you probably should not apply. Odds are you won’t be able to put your best self forward for an interview that your heart isn’t in, and you’d struggle to excel at a job that doesn’t excite you. The right job description will come along.

Rejection can feel like one of the most crippling things, but it can also be exhilaratingly freeing. With no stress on interviews or timelines, I drove to Raleigh and settled into life there with little expectation and a lot of blind faith. In an odd way, the pressure was off; I had a clean slate and the motivation to create a life for myself despite any rejections that might come my way.

All too often, we take rejection as a solid "no" to our entire dream—no, we aren't supposed to do this quite yet; we aren't cut out for something; we aren't as qualified as we thought we were. But what if we saw rejection for what it is: one person told us no. Just one. (Okay, maybe a lot of employers have told you "no.") But who are we to let strangers, who have only seen the tiniest glimpse of what we are capable of, tell us no and crush our spirits? What if we treated rejections not as signs that the door has closed on our goals, but as signs to simply try another door? I'm not saying you can force anyone to hire you, but you can keep rejection and the word "no" from releasing all of the helium from your dreams. Look at each rejection as an opportunity for bigger and better things. While this may be easier said than done, don’t think that one rejection email is everyone telling you “no.” It’s just one person. And while you might get a lot of rejection emails, just remember that you only need one company to say yes.

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